...and then I hit the floor

So I was at work doing my job. I am a frequent visitor of that place. But honestly I had just recently returned from a short hiatus that involved a lovely trip to Arizona- that place where it doesn't snow (much, except maybe in Flagstaff). Despite the weather, I was kind of happy to be back seeing as how I am one of those freaky weird people who likes having a routine and thinks that vacation is slightly stressful.

Having missed my coworkers and even a few of my clients, I thought the day was going well. And then it hit me... or rather I hit it... or, even better, my elbow hit it- it being the countertop- and my world went spinning or crashing down, whichever saying you prefer, they're both accurate.

I began to walk back to my computer, feeling a sadly familiar dizzy sensation with each step. With my back turned to my client, I was hoping she hadn't quite noticed my teetering footsteps. As I reached my computer I could convince myself to do nothing except rest my forehead against it. Try as might, I couldn't convince myself to stand erect after I had placed my forehead on the monitor. I couldn't move.

So I told me coworker that I needed him to take the receipt back to the client because I was going to pass out. How did I know this for sure? I'll get to that. He grabbed me by the waist and tried to take me somewhere to sit but I declined. I am stupidly stubborn sometimes. I knew I was going to pass out but I decided to stay standing? Idiot. As he's walking back from delivering the receipt apparently I slumped onto the counter and then my knees gave out as I gracefully swooned into his arms. Honestly, I think he's a lucky guy to have been able to play the Knight in Shining Armor. He said he caught me much more gracefully than I fell... dangit.

Suddenly I was somewhere else entirely, or at least I thought I was. I was dreaming within a fraction of a second. So when I woke up to Ryan standing over me, Richard propping up my feet, and Brendan on the phone saying something about his employee passing out I was caught off guard- as anyone would be. I immediately tried to sit back up. Why I did this I really don't know because that's really not a brilliant idea after fainting. But obviously my faculties were not at their peak.
I love hearing my coworkers tell the story. I turned blue, I was out for fifteen seconds, I wasn't breathing. It sounds terribly dramatic and dangerous. And yet it continues to make me laugh. If I had started seizing or peed my pants I probably wouldn't be so keen to laugh about it. Kevin started laughing because he said I reminded him of the fainting goats. Well that's flattering.

Yep, that's real. Watch it for yourself here.

I really came back to when my boss said something to the paramedics on the phone about an ambulance. I immediately retorted, "I don't need an ambulance!" There are two reasons for my vehement decline of their services. One, I don't like paying for medical expenses and I am stupidly stubborn about seeing doctors. Unbelievable, I know. I'll spend $100 on a pair of jeans but nothing for my health. Two, I knew what had caused my little dizzy spell.

Yes folks, it was my elbow. Because I hit my elbow I blacked out. It's embarrassing, nay, even mortifying. And yet, so ridiculously funny. My friends tried to hit it later that night to see if I'd do it again. First off, nice. As if I'd like to pass out twice in a day. Second, punching my elbow is not going to make me pass out. But how did I know this? Oh, I've done it before. Don't worry, it's normal for people to hit their elbow and pass out maybe once in their lifetime. I'm apparently the only idiot who does it twice though. I called my dad and he just laughed, recalling the incident in high school (imagine waking up to your choir director poised directly above your head) where I'd done it previously. Still, my dad could have shown a little sympathy.

They took me to the doctor the first time and he said it had something to do with a vasovagal response. I included the wikipedia page in case you think I'm making this up. Although it says nothing concerning elbow hitting.