Kicking Where It Counts

Well it happened. I finally got to teach the seventh graders. The very same seventh graders that took advantage of me in my weakened state last week.
I had known about this for at least a week and a half ahead of time. But true to my nature I didn't prepare really until the last minute. In case my professor happens to ever read my blog I'm going to refrain from telling you how much.
These kids don't want to be there and they're a little hard to teach. I tried to make it fun! We studied natural disasters and we talked about current events like Katrina (which, by the way, was 4 years ago. Weird, huh?), and I asked them to share any of their own disaster stories. My mentor teacher gave me a funny survival book that I can never seem to remember the name of and I read that to them as well. They liked that part.
So their assignment afterward was to
option 1) Write a short story about a disaster--real or made up, serious or funny
or
option 2) Write instructions on how to survive a disaster or emergency--again, serious or funny
I have to share my favorite one. I started laughing out loud as soon as I read it and I even made a copy of it before I handed all of their papers back to them. Alex starts, "if Barrny comes and kills evryone here are the rules"
1. Find a place to hid[e] but not that hard Barrny is stuped
2. use what ever you can as a wepon
3. come out of hiding slowly or he will kill you
4. look at your suroundings
5. run for your life
6. Don't fall for the "I love you" he wants you to come out so he can pump you full of led
7. Whach for flying Balls of fire
8. have a friend But not that good [a] friend so if he goes to shot you put you "friend" in front of you.
9. if he finds you kick him in the tenders
10. these rules may not work good luck
Oh my gosh I was dying! "Kick him in the tenders"? Seriously? So funny! I would have given him full credit just from making me laugh so hard but he missed the vocabulary. They only half-listen to me. I also got more than a few stories about killer bunnies and how they attacked the world. I began to wonder where the fascination with rabbits came from. When I got in the car to leave I noticed that I was wearing my shirt with a pattern of bunnies all over it. I suddenly knew where they received their inspiration. I promise they're not killers on my shirt.